turning 30 #40

I was so scared. It’s not death, because I know how death can strike at any time. It’s that people think 30 year olds should have a real job and know what they’re doing—I don’t have a real job, or know what I’m doing.

(And women are officially worthless at 30, no longer prime real estate, not that I ever was—and I don’t think about those things, but I can’t wash off the bad residue of my culture no matter how hard I try.)

However, on my 30th birthday, I received a wealth of kindness from family and friends. I got so many emails, cards, and messages of goodwill that I was moved almost to tears. My parents sent flowers. I feel supported and loved as I enter my 30s.

In my 20s I was so busy finding myself and healing from the pain of the past: I was turned inward. But now I feel secure in who I am, better able to engage the world as a full person, and ready to take care of myself.

Another of my favorite things about growing up is how I’m able to be close to people of any age. My closest friends range in age from 16 to 72. These people enrich my life.

The place where you turn 30 is a good place. Age is only a problem if you make it that way. If you’re blessed to have your health, it only gets better. As you grow up, you can find within yourself the resources to grow up.