#8

If you don't want to drown, let go of the stone.

why I don't like movies #6

Some people want to know why I don’t like movies, and it’s hard to explain on the spot. My students bring up movies often in class, to illustrate an idea or make a point. People use movies to explain things to themselves and one another. How many times have you heard someone say, “This is just like in that movie such-and-such when so-and-so says this-or-that and then blank happens.” Well, I usually can’t participate because I never saw the movie you’re talking about.

I don’t like movies because they’re mostly all the same. Also, they’re too long. I’m not a frenetic person, but about 20 minutes into most movies, I feel the need to get up and do something. I usually don’t like the characters. Violence makes me feel sick, and watching people have sex seems voyeuristic and inappropriate.

Most movies bore me. They’re too serious, misogynist, or stylized. The actors don’t look like me or anyone I know. Also, movies are over-stimulating. I can’t handle pictures, sound, people, music, and explosions all at the same time. I would need to take each of those one by one.

Maybe there are some movies I would like, but I don’t seek them out because I’m busy doing the things I already like to do. The movies that are smart and challenging usually make me feel depressed, and the rest of movies are so banal and unintelligent that I just want to get up and leave. I can’t stand the formulaic way the lead woman and man have to end up sleeping together.

I haven’t been to a movie theater in about three years (although I love the popcorn). Movie rental places like Blockbuster or even small, independent ones usually make me feel like I’m going to pass out. They play loud music, have five or six TVs showing movies, parts of movies, or commercials, and have bright colors everywhere: movie posters, yellow painted walls, red carpet.

Sometimes I think movies are the excitement in people’s lives when they should be living the excitement themselves.

#6

I'm not racist. I think racism is gay.
--Kenny Smith

driving into town #5

Driving into town
is like falling into a dream.
From the dark,
we see lights
coming toward us--
they pass. They were
angels. To the right
the casino is lit up
to shows us words
like, “Tu Ka Novie” or
“Coffee Break Time.”
There’s a truck on
the lawn--a person
can win it. Town has
stores and shops
and we see darkness again
when we pass
to the other side.

from the Chandogya Upanishad #3

"Place this salt in water, and then wait on me in the morning." The son did as he was commanded.

The father said to him: "Bring me the salt, which you placed in the water last night."

The son having looked for it, found it not, for, of course, it was melted.

The father said: "Taste it from the surface of the water. How is it?"

The son replied: "It is salt."

"Taste it from the middle. How is it?"

The son replied: "It is salt."

"Taste it from the bottom. How is it?"

The son replied: "It is salt."

The father said: "Throw it away and then wait on me.”

He did so, but the salt exists forever.

rice and lentils #2

It’s cheap! It’s got protein! It tastes good!

2 ½ cups water
½ cup white rice
½ cup lentils
2 tbsp butter
1 onion chopped
spices (2 tsp curry powder, for example)

Stir together then simmer 20 minutes covered. For variation, add some tomatoes.

I remember #36

I remember my mom peeling her grapes. I liked my BBQed hotdogs burnt. She made potato salad and macaroni salad. Usually there were some good beans. Back then I picked out all my onions. Back then I loved tri-tip and tri-tip sandwiches, best on a french roll.

I realized that plants need water not because they’re wimps who want to be moist, but because they need it for the whole Krebs cycle to produce ATP. It gave me a whole new perspective on watering my plants.

My students mimicked me when I said, “For sure,” and laughed when I hugged the dictionary. My student was wearing a shirt that said “player” and I asked, “Are you a player?” He said no, when I was passing back papers.

candles #11

vanilla-scented
pear-scented
mown-grass-scented
carrot-scented
goat-scented

snow-scented
apple-scented
horse-scented
earthquake-scented
pomegranate-scented
home-scented

relationship

Is a relationship made of words?
Words are important.

Is our relationship made of words?
Our relationship is made of soul.

Words are evidence of soul.
Words are little poop-pellets that the soul leaves behind.

acting

Acting is merely the art of keeping a large group of people from coughing.
-Sir Ralph Richardson

September 10

What exactly do you want us to remember
with a pretend yellow ribbon. Fear.
Remember to be angry. Remember just
a very bad day for a lot of people.
I don’t think we could forget that anyway.
Remember in some way to honor.
But do they know we’re honoring.
Remembering can’t put bodies back together.
Remember the sweetness of the day before.

economics

I must confess that I do not draw a sharp line or any distinction between economics and ethics. Economics that hurt the moral well-being of an individual or a nation are immoral and, therefore, sinful. Thus, the economics that permit one country to prey upon another are immoral.
--Mahatma Gandhi

The Knot Spider #21

by Erik Lundgren

There was a little boy. His name was Tim. In his room there was a wooden desk. At night, he sat at his desk and drew crayon pictures of Dr. Destiny, his favorite movie hero. He stayed up late. His parents didn't know he stayed up. He stayed up even though he started to be afraid. Televisions murmured in other rooms of the house.

When he got afraid, he got afraid of a knot that was in his wood desk. To Tim, it looked just like a curled-up spider, with its legs wrapped around the outside of itself. A cocooned spider. Suddenly it would uncurl and be walking across his desk. If he wasn't careful, it would get him.

If I pound the desk, Tim thought, I might kill it. But it might not really be dead. Instead, it might be really mad. Then it will wait until I fall asleep and come get me.

Tim put duct tape over the knot in the wood. He felt safe for awhile. But he couldn't see it. He couldn't see what it was doing. Maybe it was chewing a tunnel in the wood to get out. That was worse. It was worse not seeing it and instead seeing it in his imagination.

Tim got the duct tape off with a long stick. He taped over the knot-spider again, but this time he used see-through tape.

dinner #18

Some people like enchilada sauce,
some people like ketchup on their tamales.
Everybody’s different,
what are you going to do.
Retreat into a world of nothing.
The Marine boy back from Hawaii
is going to bitch when he says
missing class last Thursday
was not his choice though I believe
he wasn’t drafted to explode things.
And one girl’s going to act like
class is the Oprah Winfrey show,
and a boy’s going to say we’re talking
too much about feelings.
I know the way everybody’s the same,
and I might as well play
a tape recording of the last time.
I’m going to keep listening,
I’m going to keep smiling,
then come home and
die over dinner though
by then everyone but me
forgot the whole thing.
I’ll keep pretending I’m teaching,
you keep pretending you’re studenting.

if you’re just letting me know #18

If you’re just letting me know,
dye your dream red and say it at school.

Close to dead surfaces,
happiness is 1.3 weddings away.

libraries

Public libraries are wonderful socialist institutions because everyone can get a library card, and it’s free. You don’t even have to prove you’re a citizen. But you might have to prove your address.

I used to hate libraries because they made me feel claustrophobic. The window is never open, sometimes they can smell bad, like mustiness, and the air is stale.

Also, I went to bad libraries in Santa Maria where they never really had the book I was looking for. I felt oppressed there. I was scared of librarians.

On the other hand, UCSB’s library is eight stories high, and I was overwhelmed by too many books. I didn’t know how to find what I was looking for. Security guards at the all exits creep me out.

Now I know more about libraries and love them because I can go to good ones. I even like to hang out there, writing and reading. And I like librarians now. I think they’re nice.

Librarians, here is some advice for you. Please keep many golf pencils available, and scrap paper, for the unprepared to write down call numbers. Please make sure the chairs are comfortable for all people. Please make everyone turn off their cell phones. Please be quiet, buy all the books I like, and buy all the magazines I like. That’s all--thank you.

christianity #30

Christianity’s like a boat, and they’re throwing all the smart people off it, so the boat keeps getting dumber and dumber.
--Erik Lundgren